bunch of nonsense

i think, therefore I am (an RN)

Continuation…Psych Unit Oktubre 19, 2005

Filed under: english alphabet,nurse's notes — nixinne @ 2:32 hapon

I forgot what happened to my last blog about the psych unit i worked on but i’ll just continue to blabber stuff about how real & UN real it is to have such ordeal…

it is very interesting…the facts of life…the human anatomy & physiology…no machine can ever match what we have in our body and how it works…its fucking incredible…the more i see it and work with it, it amazes me more and more…and like other things in this materialistic world, we tend to take it for granted…hence the smoking, drinking, inhaling stuff we are not suppose to, putting unknown stuff in our body, eating all the unhealthy foods, indulging our eyes with violence in movies and sex on TV…

etc…etc…and i am only talking about human body here…i havent mention the human brain yet…whi9ch i will do now…the human brain…darn those brain cells…theyre oretty fucking amazing…it can make the whole body work and more!…it can make you sing, dance, have sex, enjoy sex, be angry, be sad, be productive at work, be lazy, be athletic, be creative, build stuff, enables you to make your own fucking decisions (this part of the brain work kinda slow for most people…). It determines what personality youre gonna have according to your “growing uo experiences”…

ok, i am sounding like a fucking science book here but the main point is that we take our own life for granted, making the littlest thing the worst case scenario in the world before hurricane katrina, earthquake in pakistan and the NYC 911 tragedy…

these people that i worked with in the psych unit…i couldnt even grasp the intensity of their situation but most of them i observed has some genetic, environmental and developmental influence. Genetic being a lot of their immediate family has some sort of psych issues, environmental being where they were raised and what kind of place/situation they were in , developmental being having their parent’s influence is (aka how they raised them) & or how their brain actualy grew into what it is right now…

i passed through that stage…being depressed…being suicidal…being angry…but that was a long time ago…it took me a while to realize that analyzing things and going into the depth of the realms of my existense and pitying myself for what i didnt have and what couldve been rather than enjoying what i had and being thankful fro all the small things that was given to me was better than anything else…i always tried to live in the past, tried to look for something that was missing and i didnt even know what was it that i was missing, tried to mourn what was left behind, tried to hate, tried to be mad…it doesnt work…i just had to live my life…

i still dont know if there is anythign in this world would make me happy as i was when i gave birth to my son…it was the happiest time of my life…i knew i have someone i can call my own, my own flesh and blood…it is no comparison to louis vuitton bag i assure you…

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Psych Unit Oktubre 16, 2005

Filed under: english alphabet,nurse's notes — nixinne @ 3:24 hapon

Hohummmm…(sabay inat ng katawan)…Ano ba to?…hindi na ako makatulog…tatlong oras pa lang akong natutulog ah…o…nagtataka ka pa, e nagtrabaho ako kagabi…ano tinrabaho ko?…e ano pa? e di mga mentally & emotionally challenged people…
oo, sa isang mental facility dito sa Oakridge TN ako nadestino kagabi…aba e masaya ang buhay ko…wala yata akong ginawa kagabi kundi mag-basa ng Star, National Enquirer, US, Life&Style, People’s Magazine at 1973 edition ng Guinness Book of World Records…o di ba..habang ang mga pasyente ko na may…akala ko interesante ang buhay ng mga artista…kabi kabila ang pagwawaldas ng salapi sa breast reduction, breast implants, face lifts, tummy tucks, magagarbong damit, sapatos at mamahaling bag, ang paghihiwalay, pagsasama at pagbubuntisan ng kapwa artista, at ang kanilang mga makabagong pananaw tulad ng scientology (ok sa ibang blog mo na basahin kung ano ang pinyon ko sa lintik na sekta na iyan)…

ang punto…mas interesante ang buhay ng mga pasyente ko kagabi…naubusan lang ako ng chart na babasahin kagabi at isa pang hinidi maiiwasang dahilan kung bakit mga basurang magasin ang nabasa ko kagabi habang natutulog ang aking mga pasyente e dahil sa pagiging henyo ng mga doktor sa kanilang favorite subject – Unreadable Script 101 – (Beginner’s course for MD’s who wants to write like a chicken scratch so they can get paid million bucks a year and to be eligible to numerous malpractice legal suits)…hay naku…in short, hindi ko na mabasa!…

anyway, nais kong kalikutin at bulatlatin ang mga nasasaisip at nasasaloob ng mga taong ito…ano kaya ang kanilang mga hinaing sa buhay?…maraming stressors kung bakit na ti trigger daw ang kanilang pagiging BIPOLAR, MANIC DEPRESSIVE, SCHIZOPHRENIC, at CHEMICAL DEPENDANTS…

pero ang mga kuwento nila…ang kanilang family background…
tsk tsk tsk…marami talagang napupulot ang ating brain cells habang tayo ay lumalaki…at least magbuhat nug tayo ay ipinanganak hanggang sa edad na disiotso…para nga daw sponge ang utak ng tao…absorb lang ng absorb tapos pagdating ng edad disiotso nababawasan ang ating brain cells…pero of course naman napapalitan ito pero mas mabagal ang pagproduce ng new brain cells kesa sa pagkawala nito…

pero medyo inaantok na ako..bukas na lang siguro ulit ako magsusulat tungkol sa dito…
hintay na lang sa continuation….

 

My Sweet 16 on MTV Oktubre 10, 2005

Filed under: for the record,onli pinoy ken rid dis — nixinne @ 7:34 hapon

la lang, gusto ko lang isulat na may trabaho na ako…per diem nga lang pero ok na rin…grabe ghetto ng isang type ng hospital dito…nakakapagod magtrabaho sa gabi…hindi kasi makatulog ng maayos sa umaga…ano naman kaya ng gagawin ko ngayon…teka…nasabi ko na ba nabili na ni mike ang cabin sa gatlinburg…hayun at tinatapos ang finishing touches para ma-i-pa rent na niya this weekend…on season kasi ang pagbabakasyon sa gatlinburg…fall na kasi..maganda ang view dito sa tennessee pag fall…sarap pa ng weather…di gaanong malamig…

nanood nga pala ko kanina ng my sweet sixteen sa mtv…grabe ang mga kabataan ngayon…tsk tsk tsk…sobrang spoiled…walang respeto sa magulang at walang bukambibig kundi ang pambabalahura sa magulang at pagtrato sa mga ito na parang atm machine…

anyway..idescribe ko lang pasumandali ang napanood ko…apat na episode nga yata ang napanood ko kanina…heto ang maikling decription ng katarantaduhan ng mga “rich’ kuno na mag be bertdey sa minumurang edad na disisais…

1. amanda – letseng bata ito…walang bukambibig kundi pera at pambabastos sa ama na walang ginawa kundi ang paypayan ng salapi ang mukha ng anak para hindi mag “tantrums”…libo-libong salapi ang ginasta…mantakin mong tumataginting na tatlong daan libong piso para lang sa sweet sixteen?…nakaktakot isipin kung ano ang gustong gawin ng batang ito sa kanyang dubut o kaya sa kanang kasal…sayang maganda pa naman pero mukhang madaling mahuhulog sa droga at kawalan ng edukasyon dahil walng disiplina…sa isang malaking club sa florida ginanap ang party…si ciara ang guest performer…may damit na 1800 ang halaga pero binasura sa araw ng bertdey dahil “she doesnt feel beautiful” daw…nag mamaktol pa at sa mercedes lang siya nakasakay at hindi sa limosine…

2. triplets – bitches din ang tatlong ito pero at least ok ang trato sa magulang…bitch lang sila sa isat isa…gustong magpasikat kanya kanya sa bertdey celebration na may guest na ang pangalan ay ____cult…pasensiya na hindi ko na matandaan ang pangalan eh…ginastusan ng mahigit na walumpung libo dolyares…haayyy…daig ko pa ang inuntog sa lotto…

3. cindy – eto…mukhang pinay…akalain mong ang accent ng ina ay bisaya kaya alam mong pinay…espanol nga lang yata ang ama…malinggit na bata pero nakakainis ding panoorin dahil may ugaling gaya ng number 1 (si amanda)…walang pakumadang gumasta ng salapi sa mga bagay na di naman karapat dapat…sa staten island ginanap ang bertdey sa isang excelsior something something na hotel or ballroom….naghire pa ng dancers at kabayo!…nakakainis nga lang panoorin ang ina dahil nag pi prima donna rin…

4. nakalimutan ko na ang pangalan – magarbo ito at since spanish ang pamilya, magandang bata at marunong rumespeto sa magulang…princess theme ang bertdey niya…magarbo ang gown…ganda ng entrance…may cotillon…at sa opening remarks eh may mga pictures niya…mukhang modelo…ganda ng katawan at hanep!…gusto ko ang kanyang dancing clothes!…(DI NGA LANG AKO KAKASYA!)

so yun lang…gusto ko lang i-share ang napanood ko kanina…wala namang kasing gaanong nangyari last week kundi orientation at trabaho…

hanggang sa muli!…(manonood muna ako ng maalala mo kaya sa abs-cbn now)

 

Addicted… Oktubre 7, 2005

Filed under: hobbies in my mind,modern tech,yada yada yada — nixinne @ 2:50 umaga

Yep..i am now officially addicted to rollercoaster tycoon…wala na akong ginawa kundi ang mag laro nito!…LOSERRRRRR!…i need to go out one of these days…oops..i need to sleep coz were going to North Carolina tomorrow…or should i say later…

My shoulder hurts…i took flexeril already…its only a matter of few minutes before i pass out…at least no more pain…

One of the kindest person i have ever met in high school was lisa marie…darn she’s still pretty as hell and still soft spoken (well, at least through her email)…i never really forget those people who were actually nice to me when i was a weird human being especially when i was in high school…

i want to go back home and visit my baby.

 

Rollercoaster Tycoon Oktubre 3, 2005

Filed under: hobbies in my mind,modern tech — nixinne @ 3:16 hapon

Ok, so last night was saturday night and sad to say i was a loser…meaning i didnt go out and didnt do anything…i was going to pull out my hair in different places but decided it would hurt and would lose some of my hair so i settled into playing a computer game…

YEP…it is Rollercoaster Tycoon…yea…thats what im talking about…wanna fight about it?…huh…huh???…

Sorry..becoming too attached to family guy…(It’s Chris boss on the golf driving range in one of the episodes)

Anyway…it was a pleasant surprise…ive never had the chance to play this game till last night and i am glad i did…when ur pretty bored, this is one of those things that you can get your mind lost into…i enjoyed making my own theme park and enjoyed bullying people who were about to spew…its sooo much fun…after youve attained your goal you can close up your whole park so no one can get out or drown several people…pretty sadistic but there are other few things that makes it fun…you get to see if you can actually become an owner of a darn theme park and manage it properly…Graphics are just ok (duh…compared to Xbox games)…but is funny in some way..(people who need to find bathrooms or were getting nauseated by our rides)…SOunds are irritating…i hope i could change it…objectives are fine but needs more of them…Maybe the 2nd RT is better…

 

Catastrophe Oktubre 2, 2005

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life,yada yada yada — nixinne @ 10:51 umaga

People who hates me would say…GOOD FOR YOU!
WHY?
Because it is a major catastrophe! I thought coming here in Knoxville will be awesome…I’ll have a nice luxury apartment, boyfriend in town, good job, nightlife…i thought it will be a nice getaway to all problems before i actually face them…

Well, my friends in CA are right…i AM aching to go back and work in CA again…it’s not even 3 months yet and i am seriously thinking of dropping my lease here and work in CA…stupid stupid me…came here before i got the job that i wanted…for some F$%#%$ up reason hospital census are low and they quit hiring travel nurses as soon as i got done with CA assignment…frustrating…

now being employed within 2 per diem agencies is nothing…i cant get assignment…i would get them but i get cancelled a lot…

How many freakin orientation and examinations did i go through already? oh well…baptist hospital is my last venue…ill do full time per diem in their facility…i love my job and i want to have one soon…

Maybe ill go out today and look at garage sales…I need a couch and a dining table…I think it is the perfect way to get me inexpensive stuff then dispose of them when the time comes for me to leave this god forsaken place…

I still love travelling…but i am beginning to hate knoxville…