bunch of nonsense

i think, therefore I am (an RN)

official what? Agosto 18, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 12:45 umaga

the blurry lines of friendship and dating have been crossed…and yet will be far away from each other…what an irony,,,mike is moving to tenessee next weekend…he’ll be selling his house in PA instead of renting it out…tsk tsk tsk….too bad…how long we can do this is of course always an issue…this is the 4th relationship that i had that my boyfriend is going to be away from me…well..its not that far…the only thing that will hold this thing between us is if he makes an effort to show up here to visit or call me up from time to time…ok…but at least now i know where i stand unlike before that i dont even know if we really are dating each other or that we are just having fun going out together…

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awakening Agosto 9, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 12:39 hapon

sunday…once again im off today…nice nice…i realized a lot of suff last night with lance and chico…i shouldnt be expecting mike to tell me everything and everywhere he goes…indeed i guess i really dont have any right to be upset…i’ll let him be…we’ll still hang out together…when i feel that he’s backing up a even for juz a little bit…ill back off too..no problem…better to feel this way i guess…i shouldn’t get excited over things he says or do…its not worth it…i’ve got my own life to live and i cannot do the mistakes that i did before…taking it easy…

 

bad news always preceeds good news Agosto 7, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 9:58 hapon

i was excited..i called mike to see how he was doing before getting out of work…he called me right back…i was enthralled….he was asking me my address and if i want to go to a comedy club next week…wednesday to be exact…but all of these were lost…why? rohit told me several things that made me feel like a total idiot for being excited about going out with him…they met two girls last wine fest at divine bar and they agreed to meet up this coming tuesday…and he was here in new york last thursday night…and that he was with a girl last wednesday night and was up till 2 in the morning…i feel that im such a fool…im a jerk…for believing in something that wasn’t there… i discovered that mike wrote me a letter before he talked to me last night…i wrote back with the same enthusiasm as before…is there a hope?…im not sure…should i stay or should i leave…confirm or juz shut my mouth?…i dont know exactly…

 

awkward decision Agosto 6, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 3:45 umaga

from work i went directly to jeff’s place in 69th and 1st…who is jeff?…i met him on a train station…assistant VP for RVI group in stamford…were gonna hang out..suppose to be hang out but i guess he thought of it as a date…hanged out for a sec at his place…it was so awkward…i was trying to avoid his eyes, his comments…trying to igonore subtle signs of interests…i brought my bag along with me so i dotn have any reason to come back at his place…he actually gave me a bracelet…silver one but its nice…we went to session 73 on 73rd and 1st…nice jazz bar…good food too…he kept on trying to hold my hand…i dont know how to respond…its my fault anyhow…i didnt tell him im going out with mike…afer dinner i told him i needed to go home…when i was getting my taxi…he pulled me and kissed me…i pulled away as quickly as i can…embarrased not only to the taxi and everybody else on the street but also and mostly to myself…why am i doing this?…i guess i still cannot do it…although me & mike are not committed in a much broader sense, i oculdn’t get myself to actually be interested in dating…besides. i like mike…

 

good things, bad things Agosto 4, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 2:31 umaga

darn its been a while!…anyhow…bad things…good things happenin…still same shit about me having financial problems but thats a constant thing anyow for most people…good things?…yep…i think were officially “dating” now…me and mike…asked him what our relationship stands and asked if it was just like a friends with benefits sort of thing and he said it’s more than that…what’s good thing too was…i was asking him when i am going to to see him again and he said next week and i asked why and then he jokingly said…well then, im not gonna come if you don’t want me to!…which means, he is planning to come here to visit me!…nice!…i like that!