this is an embarrassing, baseless, useless, unworthy piece of blog. i live in knoxville but it feels like prison, i was once a happy person and i should be. why shouldn’t i be happy? i should count my blessings. i have a husband that is still here with me although i am probably driving him nuts. i don’t deserve him. i don’t deserve this life. my son is also here with me and i feel like i am not capable of being a good mother. i am a loser. i do not deserve to live. i am sad. although people say i should not be because of all the great things i have.
i do not want to talk to anybody. i just want to lay down. sleep. watch tv shows. watch movies. i do not want to trim my nails. i do not want to shower. i do not want to see the outside of our house. i do not like myself. i do not deserve to be happy. i do not deserve to be alive. what am i actually contributing to this world? my husband is stuck here with me when he can be great with someone and somewhere else. my son is happier with his father, stepmom, and siblings, he does not even like my recipes.
there is no one that listens. no one that hears me shout. i am going to do a hunger strike.