11-22-63 – Stephen King Oktubre 25, 2012

I am a registered nurse but now my butt is planted in an office. I am currently working as patient placement coordinator. It is quite boring but at least I do not feel like skipping work just because I did not want to come to work. I do like this work although I am losing my nursing skills.

I am currently listening to the newest Stephen King novel – 11-22-63 (audiobook) narrated by Craig Wasson. So far, I am in Chapter 6 and its great. I am really liking this audiobook. Love listening instead of reading but I still like the novelty of reading it

Invictus Oktubre 22, 2012

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley :

Annabel Lee

This is my best friends poem for speech class when we were n grade school

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Edgar Allan Poe :

Don’t Quit

The Don’t Quit presentation is based on a famous poem which was written many years ago. The author of this poem is unknown. Sadly, in recent years a number of people have claimed ownership of the poem and some have even claimed to have written it themselves!

Here is the original poem in it’s entirety:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

– Author unknown

http://www.thedontquitpoem.com/thePoem.htm

Desiderata

When I was a student at La Consolacion College (Mendiola, Manila), I signed on to be a part of SLCC on my 3rd yr in high school. I could’ve had a promising career if only I had someone to guide me… I did learn a lot on that leadership training and it includes a couple of favorite literary pieces named Desiderata and Don’t Quit

——————————————

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

vengeance is not ours, it’s god’s

Vengeance is Not Ours, It’s God’s

(Another winning declamation piece. It’s good to memorize and good to recite. You will really cry when you will deliver this piece in front of the audience. Find out why.)

Alms, alms, alms. Spare me a piece of bread. Spare me your mercy. I am a child so young, so thin, and so ragged. Why are you staring at me? With my eyes I cannot see but I know that you are all staring at me. Why are you whispering to one another? Why? Do you know my mother? Do you know my father? Did you know me five years ago?

Yes, five years of bitterness have passed. I can still remember the vast happiness mother and I shared with each other. We were very happy indeed.

Suddenly, five loud knocks were heard on the door and a deep silence ensued. Did the cruel Nippon’s discover our peaceful home? Mother ran to Father’s side pleading. “Please, Luis, hide in the cellar, there in the cellar where they cannot find you,” I pulled my father’s arm but he did not move. It seemed as though his feet were glued to the floor.

The door went “bang” and before us five ugly beasts came barging in. “Are you Captain Luis Santos?” roared the ugliest of them all. “Yes,” said my father. “You are under arrest,” said one of the beasts. They pulled father roughly away from us. Father was not given a chance to bid us goodbye.

We followed them mile after mile. We were hungry and thirsty. We saw group of Japanese eating. Oh, how our mouths watered seeing the delicious fruits they were eating,
Then suddenly, we heard a voice call, “Consuelo. . . . Oscar. . . . Consuelo. . . . Oscar. . . . Consuelo. . . . Oscar. . . .” we ran towards the direction of the voice, but it was too late. We saw father hanging on a tree. . . . dead. Oh, it was terrible. He had been badly beaten before he died. . . . and I cried vengeance, vengeance, vengeance! Everything went black. The next thing I knew I was nursing my poor invalid mother.
One day, we heard the church bell ringing “ding-dong, ding-dong!” It was a sign for us to find a shelter in our hide-out, but I could not leave my invalid mother, I tried to show her the way to the hide-out.

Suddenly, bombs started falling; airplanes were roaring overhead, canyons were firing from everywhere. “Boom, boom, boom, boom!” Mother was hit. Her legs were shattered into pieces. I took her gently in my arms and cried, “I’ll have vengeance, vengeance!” “No, Oscar. Vengeance, it’s God’s,” said mother.

But I cried out vengeance. I was like a pent-up volcano. “Vengeance is mine not the Lord’s”. “No, Oscar. Vengeance is not ours, it’s God’s” these were the words from my mother before she died.

Mother was dead and I was blind. Vengeance is not ours? To forgive is divine but vengeance is sweeter. That was five years ago, five years. . . .

Alms, alms, alms. Spare me a piece of bread. Spare me your mercy. I am a child so young, so thin, and so ragged. Vengeance is not ours, it’s God’s. . . . It’s. . . . God’s. . It’s…

night of the party Oktubre 20, 2012

after work and after feeling like an ass, i decided to go out and meet my husband. i thought he will be alone by the time i got there but mark and a client named chris is there. i felt like i am back to my old self even for a moment because i actually got out of house and work.

actually had conversations with another human being (aside from my awesome hubby, of course). I had a dirty martini, blue martini, and red headed slut shooter. talked about small businesses, obama, romney and other things. i am finally talking about something else aside from tv shows and video games.

i had fun! unfortunately, mike was sick at mark’s house. i passed out at home while mike went to the bathroom to puke. i felt awful this morning though. darn it! puked my guts out but the chicken noodle soup was awesome.

so glad my hubby is always there for me!

what the hell is wrong with me Oktubre 19, 2012

this is an embarrassing, baseless, useless, unworthy piece of blog. i live in knoxville but it feels like prison, i was once a happy person and i should be. why shouldn’t i be happy? i should count my blessings. i have a husband that is still here with me although i am probably driving him nuts. i don’t deserve him. i don’t deserve this life. my son is also here with me and i feel like i am not capable of being a good mother. i am a loser. i do not deserve to live. i am sad. although people say i should not be because of all the great things i have.

i do not want to talk to anybody. i just want to lay down. sleep. watch tv shows. watch movies. i do not want to trim my nails. i do not want to shower. i do not want to see the outside of our house. i do not like myself. i do not deserve to be happy. i do not deserve to be alive. what am i actually contributing to this world? my husband is stuck here with me when he can be great with someone and somewhere else. my son is happier with his father, stepmom, and siblings, he does not even like my recipes.

there is no one that listens. no one that hears me shout. i am going to do a hunger strike.

humpty dumpty… Agosto 9, 2012

humpty dumpty sat on a wall…humpty dumpty had a great fall! apparently, i did not sat on a wall but still suffered a great fall. My immortal life is not so immortal afterall! pretty embarrassing it seems. i was taken to the hospital (where I work) by my beloved to get checked out. at least i do not think anybody put a foley catheter on me, so that’s good.

i feel so special…i have names for all my toes now and i am on house arrest! i wish i was at work! (i very seldom say that!)

okay…so maybe i will have more time to post things!

movies that made my heart ache and my eyes filled with tears… Setyembre 26, 2008

there are several of them that i love to watch over and over again…i actually made mike recite all of them last night hinting that if he doesn’t know then he might as well forget that i am alive.

he did good though and here is the list (it is not in any order)

– a walk to remember

( “Our love is like the wind… I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it.” )

– pretty woman

( ” got red, I got green, I got yellow… I’m out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left… the condom of champions… the one and only… nothin’ is gettin’ through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?:” )

– 50 first dates

( “The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole!” )

– pride and prejudice

( “Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth Bennet: I don’t understand.
Mr. Darcy: I love you.” )

– ever after

( “Danielle: It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but I have yet to learn yours.
Henry: But I should think it was quite obvious. ”

– the notebook

( “Young Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.” )

– message in a bottle

( “Theresa Osborne: If some lives form a perfect circle, other take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand. Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has love for which I can only be grateful. ” )

– an affair to remember

( “Terry McKay: [voice shaking, ready to cry] If you can paint I can walk- anything can happen, right?” )

– titanic

( “Jack: Listen, Rose. You’re gonna get out of here, you’re gonna go on and make lots of babies, and you’re gonna watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old… an old lady warm in her bed, but not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?
Rose: I can’t feel my body.
Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. “)

– somewhere in time

( Elise McKenna: There is so much to say… I cannot find the words. Except for these: ‘I love you.’ )

– p.s. i love you

( Gerry Kennedy: Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you )

 

I was trying to understand why on earth would i like to have heartaches and tears watching these movies. as i have yet ot fully understand the complexity of the answer, at least i know that somewhere within my soul, i wanted to be a part of a love story liek what i have watched and feel their heartaches, their joy, their survival.  it seems like no matter how in love i am with my husband, the drama and uncertainty of their love affairs brings me to life. takes me out of the reality of these world, that it make me hope for more or at least think about how i can spice up my own love story…

sometimes it doesnt make any sense but that is how a tearjerker should be isnt it? supposed to be all about pouring emotions  to anything or to anybody…