i noticed how much of a lazy bug i am. instead of meticulously cleaning the house or studying for my CEN, all i do is either watch the “boob” tube (although they seem flat nowadays for me), read books, and play games.
what the heck is the matter with me? i know that is not what i am supposed to do nut i keep on procastinating. the bad part in this situation s that i am surreptitiously aware of that fact. poor mike, he must be exhausted from trying to fill in the gaps. i am defiantly bored here in knoxville, not too many friends to actually hang out with. the only one that used to hang out with me a lot is now married and they are not like mike & i who can just wiggle away from each other without any suspicions or jealousy of some sort.
i need to wake up from this dream world that i am trying to create by avoiding task and immersing myself in non useful tactics and past times. i need to get my hands dirty. i do work 5-6 days a week, but that is beside the point, isnt it? i have responsibilities. i need to face them all. i knwp i shouldnt just ignore them but it is easier to take a blind eye and deaf ears than to face anything that will particularly cause me too much trouble.
i love my husband and i love our house. hes trying his best and i am doing my worst. bad deal. i will need to break that impossible habit before i lose him altogether…