bunch of nonsense

i think, therefore I am (an RN)

awkward decision Agosto 6, 2004

Filed under: english alphabet,my immortal life — nixinne @ 3:45 umaga

from work i went directly to jeff’s place in 69th and 1st…who is jeff?…i met him on a train station…assistant VP for RVI group in stamford…were gonna hang out..suppose to be hang out but i guess he thought of it as a date…hanged out for a sec at his place…it was so awkward…i was trying to avoid his eyes, his comments…trying to igonore subtle signs of interests…i brought my bag along with me so i dotn have any reason to come back at his place…he actually gave me a bracelet…silver one but its nice…we went to session 73 on 73rd and 1st…nice jazz bar…good food too…he kept on trying to hold my hand…i dont know how to respond…its my fault anyhow…i didnt tell him im going out with mike…afer dinner i told him i needed to go home…when i was getting my taxi…he pulled me and kissed me…i pulled away as quickly as i can…embarrased not only to the taxi and everybody else on the street but also and mostly to myself…why am i doing this?…i guess i still cannot do it…although me & mike are not committed in a much broader sense, i oculdn’t get myself to actually be interested in dating…besides. i like mike…

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