quiet time Setyembre 10, 2009

i am sitting here alone in our home office. it is quiet but not emtirely alone. my two dogs are yawning under my feet.

I have to summarize what happened since the last time i posted something here.

december – had a very nice but uneventful gift exchange with my husband’s family. didnt really expect much but i did ge the boys leather jackets from buckle. got several gifts for our new dog, stella, from my in-laws.

january – my husband planned on a romantic getaway at the cabin in the mountains. he also helped me out in making our weddign scrapbook which by the way is not finished yet either. that was supposedly his first gift. i didnt mind. i knew he was broke. i gave him a playboy 1 stock certificate. i though t he was very happy with that.

february – we have received a letter that my son, nathan, will be having an interview soon. we prepped them fro everything and made sure he got his medical exam completed.

march – his interview date arrived but since there was a mishap on his immunization, it was delayed yet again another month. we went to new york to renew my passport and also to visit some friends in the city. paperwork for the interview was finalized and sent to manila with multiple copies.

april – nathan passed his interview. he’s coming to america soon!

may – we went o new york so i can fly to the philippines to get nathan. when we came back, we attended Joy and Mon’s wedding. here we have seen old friends and met new ones.

june – back to work and back to reality. pretty much broke form all the trips to get nathan here.

july – realizd that having a baby on vacation is not the best scenario nor the worst. just inconvenient but awesome as a whole since nathan and i got the time to enjoy a week with my best friend hermione and my godson, luke.

august – first day of school started for nathan. we are seeing a lot of how he deals with things. we had to wake up early everyday to get him to school. we also have to prepare his food everyday fro lunch since there is no cafeteria intheir school. both nathan and us, his parents, were excited to start in this school since it has so much to offer nathan in way of learning  different things.

well..thats all for now…i am sure ill have to write somethign fro september sooner than expected!

it breaks my heart… Nobyembre 24, 2008

Third letter of Ludwig Van Beethoven…

watched it read by carrie in sex in the city…broke my heart and cried a river…

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits – Yes, unhappily it must be so – You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart – never – never – Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life – Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men – At my age I need a steady, quiet life – can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day – therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once – Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together – Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

finally got it! Nobyembre 24, 2008

finally got my darn green card thati was supposed to have anyway 5 years ago! freakin bcis made it so difficult for me eventhough it was their stupid mistake anyway!

Old Papers from Old school days Nobyembre 24, 2008

what is philosophy?

Dr. Grippe,

To answer your question:

No, I don’t think it is okay to engage in heinous crimes even if it is personally or societally allowed. I think, even when these people [who committed these crimes] allow themselves to reason out the “good’ of their crimes, it still doesn’t make sense. Their reasoning doesn’t make any sense, they are nonsensical. Society in ancient Rome allowed barbaric fights between prisoners for entertainment, and yet after a while, it became nonsensical. They couldn’t continue the tradition because as the people think of the reasoning behind this, if it is of any importance, if any of it is logical to pursue, they ended up knowing that everything is shallow, that there really is no logical reasoning behind it all. l

The farther I read and try to understand philosophy, it seems to me that philosophy’s main ground is not only just asking questions and just answering it. As you are trying to point out, the reasoning behind it is all too important to just give meaning or reason to a certain answer because of mere or true belief without logically analyzing each main point of reasoning. The reasoning behind the answer needs to be sound, to be believable, and it needs to give life to the question itself.

But in my case, a Filipino with a limited vocabulary, it is hard to express my reasoning on my philosophical standards because of language barrier. I am just talking about being here in United States, where English is the primary language. This poses a big threat to my line of reasoning just because I cannot fully express what I mean. Reading chapter 18 of Succio about analytical philosophy and Witgensteins’s “deconstruction of traditional philosophy” in Tractarus, it made me question what and how language affects the logical reasoning behind a philosophy. Our philosophy itself is very limited to our own experiences, beliefs and knowledge, Wittgenstein may have actually have a point regarding “philosophical problems as results of misunderstanding what language is and how it works.”

Do I think of philosophy as “illusory and linguistic?” I have yet to understand all aspects of philosophy before I can be final on my stand on philosophy but I can truly say that Wittgenstein’s made me question more of what philosophy truly is. To grasp philosophy is to grasp everything that stands for a good, logical reason.

well, at least, for the first part of our philosophy reading.

Note: All quotes are form Succio, Chapter 18, page 497

and his response…

Well said!!!

You have no barrier to understanding as far as I can see.

Dr. G

love letters… Setyembre 26, 2008

it always makes me cry…i love reading them even if it is not written for me..it alwasy seems to me that it is a reminder of undying love that is retained in a letter. Never in reality that what is said in a letter will hold forever and ever. i guess that is why i like it. it retains the purity of the mind and heart of the writer during those moments…

here are some examples of them…

Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

(Excerpt from : PS I Love You [the movie])

—————————————————————————

i still have to write down the letter of garett to theresa on the book “message in a bottle”…that also made me cry…

movies that made my heart ache and my eyes filled with tears… Setyembre 26, 2008

there are several of them that i love to watch over and over again…i actually made mike recite all of them last night hinting that if he doesn’t know then he might as well forget that i am alive.

he did good though and here is the list (it is not in any order)

- a walk to remember

( “Our love is like the wind… I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it.” )

- pretty woman

( ” got red, I got green, I got yellow… I’m out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left… the condom of champions… the one and only… nothin’ is gettin’ through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?:” )

- 50 first dates

( “The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole!” )

- pride and prejudice

( “Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth Bennet: I don’t understand.
Mr. Darcy: I love you.” )

- ever after

( “Danielle: It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but I have yet to learn yours.
Henry: But I should think it was quite obvious. “

- the notebook

( “Young Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.” )

- message in a bottle

( “Theresa Osborne: If some lives form a perfect circle, other take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand. Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has love for which I can only be grateful. ” )

- an affair to remember

( “Terry McKay: [voice shaking, ready to cry] If you can paint I can walk- anything can happen, right?” )

- titanic

( “Jack: Listen, Rose. You’re gonna get out of here, you’re gonna go on and make lots of babies, and you’re gonna watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old… an old lady warm in her bed, but not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?
Rose: I can’t feel my body.
Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. “)

- somewhere in time

( Elise McKenna: There is so much to say… I cannot find the words. Except for these: ‘I love you.’ )

- p.s. i love you

( Gerry Kennedy: Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you )

 

I was trying to understand why on earth would i like to have heartaches and tears watching these movies. as i have yet ot fully understand the complexity of the answer, at least i know that somewhere within my soul, i wanted to be a part of a love story liek what i have watched and feel their heartaches, their joy, their survival.  it seems like no matter how in love i am with my husband, the drama and uncertainty of their love affairs brings me to life. takes me out of the reality of these world, that it make me hope for more or at least think about how i can spice up my own love story…

sometimes it doesnt make any sense but that is how a tearjerker should be isnt it? supposed to be all about pouring emotions  to anything or to anybody…

lazy bug Setyembre 24, 2008

i noticed how much of a lazy bug i am. instead of meticulously cleaning the house or studying for my CEN, all i do is either watch the “boob” tube (although they seem flat nowadays for me), read books, and play games.

what the heck is the matter with me? i know that is not what i am supposed to do nut i keep on procastinating. the bad part in this situation s that i am surreptitiously aware of that fact. poor mike, he must be exhausted from trying to fill in the gaps. i am defiantly bored here in knoxville, not too many friends to actually hang out with. the only one that used to hang out with me a lot is now married and they are not like mike & i who can just wiggle away from each other without any suspicions or jealousy of some sort.

i need to wake up from this dream world that i am trying to create by avoiding task and immersing myself in non useful tactics and past times.  i need to get my hands dirty. i do work 5-6 days a week, but that is beside the point, isnt it? i have responsibilities. i need to face them all. i knwp i shouldnt just ignore them but it is easier to take a blind eye and deaf ears than to face anything that will particularly cause me too much trouble. 

i love my husband and i love our house. hes trying his best and i am doing my worst. bad deal. i will need to break that impossible habit before i lose him altogether…

how usa tax system works… Setyembre 15, 2008

Our Tax System Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily bee r by $20.” Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share’? They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same percent, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so: The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings). The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings). The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings). The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings). The n inth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings). The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar out of the $20,”declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,” but he got $10!” “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got TEN times more than I!” “That’s true!!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!” The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. B ut when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

 And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.

Professor of Economics University of Georgia

It’s really been a while… Setyembre 15, 2008

updates…updates…

I am now happily married to Mr. Boyd!! It’s been 8 months when we got married. We still got our puppy. I went to a Philippines vacation last May and since then i have been at rock bottom on paying my bills!

So well, whats new about that…ive always had financial difficulties…ive tried and tried…

never been into drugs…never been into clothes or shoes or bags…never been into any buying anything expensive! Although i do have a couple of vices…buying movies and eating out… i do not know if that is what is killing me really…

i am down to my neck on credit and who i to blame??? me.

anyhow, done with my woes and worries… i have an iphone!!! love it!

whew…its been a while Nobyembre 24, 2007

i have been too busy with so many different stuff.  everyday is a new day and its been very interesting.

I moved to our new house last april, 2007.  we leased our house until august 2007 then bought it from the leaser. Its a split level house, 1700 sq ft, for a whopping $150,000.00. not bad for a southern home.

then here comes the puppy. my fiancee’s brother gave me a yorkshire terrier. we…i’ll explain the fiancee part later but as for the yorkie…

i fell in love with the puppy eversince we saw him. he was only 9 weeks old when we got him. he’s black and tan, 3.5 lbs and was just as cute as a button! i lvoe him to death but training a pup is no joke! we’re still training him not to poop or pee in the house!

 ok…as for the fiancee part…i got engaged last november 5…just right after my birthday at huntington beach, ca….it was sunset…approx 5:30 pm…he was down on his knees asking me to marry him!!! of course i said yes!!!

 so here comes the hard part…trying to figure out if we want a private wedding which consists of us, justice of the peace and a witness or a traditional wedding! we finally decided that we’ll go by the traditional wedding but with just a few family and friends…but we are having a big cocktail party afterwards at home!

chico, you better be there!!